His Smile
by Bandergeist
Summary: The carriage is broken, leaving a rotting pumpkin. He doesn’t smile anymore. HikaruxKaoru. Mentions of HikaruxHaruhi.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: His Smile  
**Author**: Kyuubi-kun  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Genre**: Angst, Romance, AU  
**Pairing(s)**: Kaoru/Hikaru. Mentions of some Hikaru/Haruhi.  
**Warning(s)**: This does contain implied heterosexual activities. Bear with it.  
**Summary**: The carriage is broken, leaving a rotting pumpkin. He doesn't smile anymore.  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own _Ouran_. I just own what I write. Y'know, my original ideas and all that fun stuff.  
**Author's Note**: Random inspiration. I don't even know what will become of this. This is Hikaru and Kaoru centric with a lot of Kyouya appearances.

* * *

Kaoru looked up at the clock. It was singing out the time.

Midnight.

The new day.

Happy Tomorrow.

Could it be over already?

He snuggled up under the covers. Normally, Hikaru would be here next to him, laughing about some joke and prodding him about how he was tired so early. Kaoru would turn to his twin and smile, telling him to go to sleep and shut up. And Hikaru would smile back.

That's normal.

Or maybe that _was_ normal.

That isn't normal anymore.

Hikaru rarely comes home.

Kaoru's twin brother prefers to spend his days will little Miss Haruhi. The younger redhead couldn't find himself hating her, though. He liked her as a friend and he _was_ the one that had set them up on their first date. He hadn't expected a second date, or a third, or a fourth, or a fifth, nor had he expected the day when Hikaru had asked Haruhi to be his girlfriend.

And she accepted.

Kaoru still couldn't hate her.

No matter what, she made Hikaru smile.

As long as his twin could smile, Kaoru would not hate Haruhi.

He laid his hand on the empty space where Hikaru would have occupied a mere month before. He had taken to sleeping over at Haruhi's house. He was always away.

It was almost as if Kaoru didn't have a twin brother anymore. He knew that he was losing sleep, sitting here, thinking about Hikaru, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He didn't want to live without his twin brother. He didn't think he could, no matter how much he sugar-coated it with Hikaru's happiness.

He wanted to be selfish. He wanted to see his twin again. He wanted to be with his twin again.

It was a long time before Kaoru finally fell into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

The next morning came swiftly. His sleep had been filled with nightmares of Hikaru leaving him, of finding out that Hikaru wasn't there at _all_ anymore: dreams of loneliness and visions of abandonment. Kaoru tried his best to shake them off.

"He isn't even mine to begin with," the younger of the twins muttered, looking at the empty spot where his brother should be.

"What's that?" a voice asked him. Kaoru looked over quickly to find his twin brother changing into their school uniform.

He smiled briefly. "Good dream," he lied easily. Before, he could try to lie to his brother, but he wouldn't get away with it. Was Hikaru just not noticing anymore? Was his brother really that far gone?

"Hurry up, we'll be late for school," Hikaru urged him. Kaoru nodded dumbly. He didn't even know how to react anymore.

Slowly, methodically, he got up, pushing the covers back and slipping out of bed, heading to the shower. He didn't need to think about all of this. He didn't think he should be the one dealing with all of this.

He just needed to smile and play along.

* * *

Kaoru first noticed his lack of appetite that day. Hikaru had taken to eating with Haruhi in the classroom. Not wanting to impose on the happy couple, he still took his lunches in the cafeteria. As per usual, he found himself seated with the rest of the Host Club.

Today, he had piled up on all of his usual favorites, but took one look at them and felt sick. He didn't quite understand it, but found when he tried to take a bite that he couldn't get it down, no matter how much he liked the taste. He shoved his food around on his plate a bit with his fork before standing.

"I just remembered I have something to do," he let out as he grabbed his tray roughly and stalked away.

He could almost feel Kyouya's eyes on him, assessing what was happening. He knew that it wouldn't take much for the "Cool Type" to figure out what was happening. He just hoped the man kept it to himself and didn't tell it to Tamaki or anyone else. It was bad enough that _he_ knew how much Hikaru's disappearance was affecting him. Kaoru didn't need anyone else to pry.

* * *

Things kept getting worse as the days passed. He rarely slept, or ate anymore. He didn't talk unless spoken to first, unless he was around Hikaru or Haruhi. He figured that it would be best that he acted normal around those two. He was happy for them. He really was. He just… couldn't be glad for them. Happy that his brother could smile, yes, but not glad that they were together. So he acted malicious, mischievous, and alive around Haruhi and Hikaru.

Yet, when he was not near them, it was as though he had reverted back to how he and Hikaru were in middle school. This time, however, there was no Hikaru.

Still he smiled, and still he grinned.

Inside, he was slowly dying.

Hikaru didn't notice.

* * *

It must have been a week after he had stopped eating at school that Kyouya finally confronted him. Kaoru had stopped even going to the cafeteria. The mere sight of food was enough to make him nauseas, so he avoided places where he could get food. Occasionally, at home, he would be able to eat, but it was never anything big and twice, he hadn't managed to keep it down. The bags under his eyes were large and purple.

Hikaru hadn't noticed.

Kyouya had.

Kaoru had been sitting outside, by the fountain, when Kyouya chose to confront him.

"Is there something wrong with you?" he asked softly once he was standing in front of the smaller boy.

Kaoru looked up, hopes dashed when he saw that it was Kyouya and not Hikaru. Why did he still hope for Hikaru to come back? They saw each other during club activities. They were still the twins. They were still always there for each other. They were still the only family the other had. They were still…

"Kaoru?" the voice asked again.

It took a moment for Kaoru to focus on the voice. "Hi?" he answered uncertainly. What was Kyouya doing here?

"Are you all right?" Kyouya wanted to know.

Kaoru made it to his feet unsteadily. His lack of sleep and food were getting to him. It had only been a week since the problems had begun, but he couldn't deny that they were there.

"Yes," he told Kyouya shortly. He didn't need the Shadow King of the Host Club harassing him about this. Make-up could cover the unnatural pallor of his skin and hide the bags under his eyes. He and Hikaru still got a rather large clientele, so there was nothing that should worry the Shadow King.

"Are you?" the Ootori inquired.

"What's it to you?" Kaoru shot back. He really wasn't in the mood to play games.

"A lot. Is this a place you want to talk about it?"

"I don't want to talk about it anywhere, all right? Go away. I'll be at club activities. Why should you care what I do outside of them?"

"Because I do," was the sharp reply.

Kaoru tried to glare at him, but shook his head. He was exhausted. He couldn't even glare at the man that was annoying him right now. "Look, I really don't care right now, Kyouya-senpai," Kaoru spat out. "I'll see you after school."

Kaoru turned to walk away. It was too bright. The sun was shining, and it was entering his eyes and giving him a headache. He moved as quickly as he could, trying to ignore the pains in his head and joints. Still, something was wrong. He knew that after the first few steps. Maybe it was because he had stood up too fast.

Regardless of the reason, Kaoru didn't get very far away from his upperclassman before collapsing onto the hard stone of the courtyard.

* * *

_"-hasn't been sleeping-"_

_"-all… right?"_

_"-don't know. He could-"_

_"How did-"_

_"I don't know."_

The voices were the first things that Kaoru was aware of. His entire body felt heavy and he didn't want to move. He tried to make sense of the voices, but he couldn't, for the life of him understand what was going on with them. He decided not to dwell on it for long.

He vaguely felt a hand in his own. It was warm. A slow, small smile came across his face at the feeling. The texture of that hand. He knew it.

Hikaru was here. He didn't know why or how his twin was here, but he _knew_ that hand. He _knew_ those calluses.

Slowly, he cracked open his eyes.

Sure enough, there was Hikaru by his side, almost as though he had never left. Kyouya was standing on the other side of the bed and he could see the rest of the Host Club at the foot of the bed.

The smell was the next thing that hit him. The sterile smell of antiseptics and medicine. The nurse's office. That had to be where he was.

"Kaoru!" his brother nearly yelled, then grip on his hand becoming tighter. Kaoru looked up at his twin, slightly confused. The bright lights were hurting his eyes, but he didn't care. Hikaru was here.

Hikaru turned to everyone. "Can I have some time with my brother alone?" he asked slowly, almost as though he were unsure as to what he really wanted. They nodded and everyone filed out. Kyouya hesitated for a fraction of a second before Hani managed to push him out the door.

Kaoru wouldn't look him in the eye. He preferred to face away from Hikaru, even though they were still joined by Hikaru's grip on the younger man's hand.

"Kaoru?" Hikaru began. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," Kaoru muttered. "I'm fine. Why don't you go and bother Haruhi?"

Hikaru's brow furrowed in confusion. "Kaoru, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Kaoru mumbled.

"If there was nothing wrong, then you wouldn't be here, would you?" Hikaru pointed out, in his normal blunt way.

The younger redhead ripped his hand out of Hikaru's grasp. No matter how much he enjoyed it, no matter how much he wanted to hold onto that hand forever, he wasn't the cause of Hikaru's smile. That last sentence told him how much the gap between them truly is. Hikaru had only realized something was wrong when he had been admitted to the nurse's office.

"Kaoru?" the boy in question inquired.

"Just go, Hikaru!"_Go back to her_. "Please…" _Stop hurting me._

"What the hell has gotten into you?" Hikaruyelled, grabbing Kaoru's collar roughly. "Where's my brother… where did he go?"

Kaoru pushed him off. "Stop acting childish, Hikaru!" he shouted back.

"Childish?" Hikaru nearly squawked, standing away from Kaoru in case the younger twin had anymore violent tendencies in him. "What are you talking about? I'm _not_ being childish. _You_ are."

Kaoru slipped out the bed. He was a bit dizzy, but could still stand on his own. Right now, he couldn't bear to be near his brother. Hikaru hadn't noticed anything was wrong. Kaoru would be the first to admit that it meant that he was acting greatly on his part, but he still…

He shook his head. There were no words.

The carriage had turned back into a pumpkin at last.

There were times when it felt like the carriage would soon turn back into a pumpkin, like when Tamaki said that the Host Club was being dispersed and he was leaving for France. The carriage came back, then. They could live in their fantasy life for a little bit longer. They had gotten him back.

But this… this couldn't be gotten back, could it?

The carriage was gone. The stained glass had shattered.

All that was left was a rotting pumpkin.

Without saying another word, he fled. He rushed past the rest of the Host Club on his way out of the nurse's office. He didn't hear their cries. He didn't hear Hikaru yelling for him to stop. He didn't notice that Kyouya had begun to follow him.

He just kept running. Further, and further until his lungs burned and his tears began to fall. Further and further until sweat swamped over his brow and his feet were killing him. Further and further until he fell, not able to go on.

He didn't know what to do.

Kaoru had always told the Host Club that Hikaru was the more childish of the two of them, with his emotions running wild, but he knew that he was the child. He was the child that refused to let go of his anchor in the world, even if the anchor had already dislodged and joined up with another ship.

Kaoru lifted his head, trying to figure out where he was. The surroundings were familiar. He stood, albeit slowly.

"Third Music Room," he muttered to himself as he realized where he had ended up. He looked up at the ceiling, swallowing the lump in his throat. "I'm an idiot."

"Well, that much was obvious," a low voice said behind him.

Kaoru whirled, nearly unbalancing himself and falling once more, but he managed to stay aloft. Kyouya stood at the door, leaning against it. Kaoru stared at him, not really knowing what to say. So, he opted to stay silent.

Kyouya walked towards him, the stoic expression still on his face. "Was there any reason why you ran off like that?" he inquired, glasses glinting in the sunlight.

Kaoru found that he couldn't look him in the eye, so he looked away, a small frown on his face. "I don't know," he finally admitted. "It… I couldn't…" He paused. Why had he run? Oh yes. That was the reason. He refused to look at Kyouya as he continued. He didn't even know why he wanted to tell Kyouya. Maybe it was just the urge to tell _someone_ and Kyouya happened to be the one who noticed. "Hikaru isn't mine anymore! Everything's shattered." He slumped onto one of the red couches that they had in there.

Kyouya sighed, pushing his glasses up onto the bridge of his nose as he walked over to Kaoru. He took a seat beside his club mate and simply stated, "You are an idiot."

Kaoru let out a hollow laugh. "Thanks."

"You think Hikaru doesn't care for you?" Kyouya pointed out. "You're an idiot. Hikaru is your twin brother, and-"

"-and he will always love me because I'm his blood," Kaoru cut off sarcastically. "Bullshit."

Kyouya sighed. While Hikaru was definitely the more emotional of the twins, Kaoru could be pigheaded in his own sense. "Then why don't you tell him?"

"He's with Haruhi, I can't… I can't screw this up for him."

The Cool Type sighed as he nodded. He figured this. "So you've stopped eating and sleeping. That won't help."

Kaoru winced. He knew Kyouya had noticed; he just never expected the shadow king to confront him like that. "I didn't mean to stop," he explained. "It just sort of happened."

"It's not good for you."

"But it's all… never mind. I don't even know anymore." Kaoru could feel the tears well up, threatening to spill over.

Kyouya adjusted his glasses. "Get yourself cleaned up. Everyone's worried about you. You owe them, at least, an apology for making them worry. If you want to talk about what you just said with Hikaru, well, that is something for the two of you to discuss. That decision is entirely up to you. As long as the two of you can still act in the 'brotherly love' fashion, then our profits won't suffer. The choice of that part is yours." He paused. "Are you going to come back?"

Kaoru nodded, slightly hurt by the mention of profits but he knew that this was _Kyouya_. "Yes, yes. I'll be down soon… just need to clean up and all."

Kyouya stood. "Then I'm leaving," he told him.

Kaoru watched Kyouya leave.

_I'll clean my face, go back, apologize and continue on my way, just like he said to,_ he thought, making his way to the bathroom nearby. He entered, leaning over the bowl and splashing water in his face. He looked up at the mirror, realizing exactly how horrible he looked. The sleep in the nurse's office had only made the bags under his eyes more pronounced.

He didn't really have much time to muse on the problem when someone grabbed him from behind, covering his eyes with a blindfold. He tried to yell, but a hand covered his mouth.

"C'mon, let's get him out of here," a gruff voice whispered.

Kaoru felt terror enter his gut. It wasn't the fact that he was being kidnapped. Being the son of a large corporation owner, he and Hikaru had been kidnapped at least two times before in their lives. It was part of being rich. They were used to the drill.

But Kaoru wasn't used to being the only one. Hikaru was normally beside him and they could find solace in that fact, but it wasn't like that this time. Hikaru wasn't here with him.

Kaoru tried to force himself to remain calm. It wouldn't do to give his attackers any reason to hurt him. He was pushed and shoved out of the bathroom, or so he guessed from the sound of the swinging door and into a room nearby. The men released him, but were still standing very close to him, close enough that he could feel their breath tickling his skin, making him uncomfortable. He didn't make any move to remove the blindfold. He wasn't stupid. Not with them this close. Still, his patience was wearing thin. He might be the more rational twin, according to the others, but he was far from calm.

He felt his breath hitch when he was taken from his thoughts by an arm wrapped possessively around his waist, drawing him roughly to the side of the person.

"You're pretty," the man's low voice told him, the tones caressing his ear. Kaoru shuddered, trying to break away. He couldn't stay calm in this situation. He didn't have Hikaru.

"Hik-" he tried to shout but was silenced when the man kissed him harshly.

After a moment of standing there shell-shocked, Kaoru pulled himself back, shoving the man away from him. He reached up and wiped his lips. That was... his first kiss. He gritted his teeth and forgot all reason. The redhead reached up and ripped the blindfold off his face.

He didn't recognize the men in front of him, but there were only two. So he could probably outrun them.

The one standing in front of him was glaring at him through narrowed green eyes. Shaggy blond hair fell over his brow. He would probably look decent if it wasn't for the ugly snarl that was twisting his face into something akin to a monster.

He advanced. Kaoru ran. He slammed into the door to the room, ripping it open and raced down the hallway. He could hear the footfalls of the men behind him. He didn't get a good look at the second one, but he didn't want to chance turning around and slowing down in order to do so. He just needed to get away, as fast as he could. He needed to run.

His lungs were burning. He really wasn't in any type of condition to be sprinting like this, but he couldn't risk slowing up. The younger twin saw black spots on his vision, but he couldn't slow down. Adrenaline was pumping through him. His breath was quickening, but he couldn't stop. He needed to make it to the nurse's office. He would be safe there. It didn't matter that that was where he had run from, but he needed the people there. They could help him.

Kaoru rounded the last corner. His muscles were screaming at him from the pain he was putting them through. He was almost there… almost… and then he felt himself falling.

"Dammit!" he shouted hoarsely as he hit the ground, unable to go any farther. He was panting heavily. He could hear the footsteps behind him, gaining on him. He could feel the tears in his eyes. So close… it was just ten feet away. His goal.

And he had failed. He tried to drag himself across the floor, but that didn't work. He was too tired. The men had reached him. One of them grabbed him tightly on the upper arms, hoisting him roughly to his feet. Unable to even struggle, Kaoru did the only thing he could. He yelled. It was a hoarse, raspy, soundless roar, but it did what it was needed.

Kyouya poked his head out of the nurse's office out of curiosity. His eyes widened slightly behind his glasses. "Kaoru!" he let out. The men looked over at Kyouya, watching how the black-haired boy's eyes flashed angrily. He set his jaw and strode up to them.

"Release him," he growled.

The men stared at Kyouya. They knew who he was, and who he was allied with. One of them gulped and they deposited Kaoru onto Kyouya. The boy wasn't able to stand by himself anymore and collapsed into the Shadow King. Kyouya kept an arm around the redhead's waist, supporting him.

"Get out of here," the Cool Type hissed angrily. The men complied and ran for it.

Kyouya watched them leave, not knowing what to do. He supposed the best thing would to be to get the exhausted redhead back to the nurse's office. He could feel Kaoru shaking violently next to him. It was probably due to the sprint that he had just undergone, but Kyouya knew that he should get it checked out just in case.

"Kaoru? Are you still here?" he whispered in the other teenager's ear. Kaoru nodded. He took a step towards the nurse's office, feeling his entire body shudder with the move. Kyouya sighed and helped Kaoru all the way inside.

The rest of the Host Club looked at them strangely when they entered. Hikaru's eyes widened. Kaoru… he looked as though something had just run over him. All of the blood had rushed to his face, he was panting heavily and his hair was darkened with sweat.

"Kaoru!" The older brother rushed over to his younger twin. He turned to Kyouya. "Is he okay? He'll be all right? What happened? Do you know? What happened?" His voice was desperate and his eyes widened with disbelief as he started at his brother.

Kyouya sighed. "Let me get him over to a bed. He's about to collapse as it is."

Hikaru nodded worried, never taking his eyes off his brother. He watched as Kyouya helped Kaoru into the bed, covering him with the sheet. He wringed his hands, trying to calm his nerves. His brother had been attacked! He needed to know who did it, why, what the point was!

Kyouya finished tucking the redhead into the bed, noticing that the boy had finally passed out again. He sighed, knowing that it was probably for the best, even if he didn't like it. The other members of the Host Club, even Tamaki, watched silently.

"Hikaru!" Kyouya said sharply. The redhead looked over at the vice-president of the club, helplessly.

"What's wrong with him?" the boy asked in a tiny voice.

Kyouya adjusted his glasses, sighing at the older twin. "Many things. Let him rest. He isn't well, he's just escaped an attempted kidnapping, and he's exhausted," the Shadow King explained, taking complete charge of the situation. "Hikaru, stay behind. I need to speak with you. The rest of you, please leave. I will call a guard for Kaoru's stay here if we leave – or even move him to one of my family's facilities."

Tamaki looked like he was about to argue with his best friend, and second in command, but decided against it when he saw the look in Kyouya's eyes. There was something there – a concern and a weariness that Tamaki had only seen a few times before.

The blonde allowed his gaze to linger on the injured redhead for a moment before ushering everyone out. Surprisingly, they all went without much argument. Maybe they had seen that look that Kyouya gave them as well. It was hard to tell for sure.

Tamaki shut the door firmly behind him and led the group back to the Third Music Room. It was best to wait out whatever would happen in familiar territory.

* * *

Meanwhile, Kyouya was having a silent staring contest with Hikaru. The redhead was frantic, trying to read the Shadow King's expression, but was coming up blank. Kyouya had always been the best of them all in hiding his emotions. That blank face had fooled many people, and no one aside from Tamaki could truly read his emotions.

That was fine with Kyouya, though. He didn't need anyone to truly understand him. Besides, it wasn't him that needed help at the moment. It was Kaoru.

"Hikaru," he began in a soft tone, sitting on the edge of the younger redhead's bed.

The older twin looked at him nervously. "Y-Yes?" he asked uncertainly.

Kyouya tried to figure out the best way to continue, before deciding that when dealing with this situation, he didn't need to beat around the bush, so to speak. He needed to get straight to the point, and tell Hikaru exactly what he was doing to his brother, even though he knew that Kaoru would be angry at him later.

"This is your fault," he stated.

Hikaru's head snapped up, his eyes wide and his hands fell limply to his sides. "W-What?" he stammered, not believing what was being said.

"When was the last time you spent some actual time with your brother… _and just your brother_?" Kyouya persisted.

Hikaru sat on the bed next to Kaoru's, facing the Shadow King and tried to remember. It had been a while since the two of them had been together outside of club activities. "Since… before I started going out with Haruhi officially," he answered slowly.

"I see. Did it ever occur to you that Kaoru could be lonely?"

Hikaru chewed on his bottom lip. "If he was… he should've said…"

"And ruin what you had with Haruhi? Is that how little you think of your brother?"

"What! No! I was just saying that it would've been easier…"

"If things were easy, Kaoru wouldn't be unconscious as he is right now."

"But…"

"There are no buts about it. You're negligence has put Kaoru in the state he is now."

"How do you know that's true? He could've just… gotten a bug… or something…"

"I know because he told me."

"Why would he tell you anything?" Hikaru's voice was rising in his anger. He didn't want to hear this, especially not from Kyouya.

The Ootori did not even appear riled as he stated sharply, "Because I listened."

That shut Hikaru up rather quickly.

However, the Cool Type wasn't done with Hikaru yet. "Also because I noticed that he doesn't eat, that the bags under his eyes had gotten bigger, and here's a lovely question for you." He paused, his cold glare sending a shiver through Hikaru.

"Yes?" the redhead squeaked.

"When was the last time you saw Kaoru smile?"

Hikaru stayed silent. That was what was missing, wasn't it? He hung his head in shame. He knew there was something off about Kaoru. He had always known, he just never thought that his twin could hide all of this from him as well as he did. Still, he hadn't put his hand on what was truly wrong. It wasn't the fact that he wasn't eating or sleeping. Sometime Kaoru did that, and Hikaru was used to it, so he thought nothing of it. Kaoru would always start eating again.

But he was always smiling to Hikaru. That smile that showed Hikaru that he _mattered_ to someone other than himself – his twin, his other half, his brother. How could he have not noticed when that smile had disappeared completely?

Hikaru felt sick. He didn't like this – he couldn't deal with this truth. It wasn't true. It couldn't be true. It had to be a trick. Kaoru wasn't… Kaoru was always smiling!

He stood up and walked closer to Kaoru. The boy's breathing was still slightly irregular from his sprint through the halls of Ouran High School, but it had evened out immensely. His skin was still pale, though, and his hair was slick with sweat.

Hikaru kneeled by the bed, not even caring the Kyouya was still there and grabbed one of Kaoru's hands in his own, holding it to his forehead. He couldn't lose his brother. How could he have been so blind – so stupid as to not notice? Was he really that wrapped up with Haruhi that he just didn't _care_ anymore?

No. He cared. He just thought that Kaoru knew that.

"I don't understand how he thought I didn't care," Hikaru whispered, not really knowing if he was telling himself that or telling Kyouya.

The Cool Type shrugged. "Could be that he wanted you to be happy," the teenager said, not really knowing what else to tell Hikaru. "You ever think of that?"

"Stupid, selfless bastard," Hikaru growled. "How could it matter? He should have taken care of himself. I'm no excuse!"

Kyouya shook his head. So Hikaru didn't know the extent of how much Kaoru cared. The second in command of the Host Club idly wondered if even _Kaoru_ knew exactly what he felt. Kyouya had figured it out when Kaoru started talking to him earlier in the Third Music Room, but that wasn't his business.

That was something the two of them would have to figure out on their own though. Kyouya was not getting _that_ deep into this situation.

"I have an idea," the Cool Type said.

Hikaru looked over at him, not breaking contact with his brother's cold, clammy hand. "What?"

"How about you tell him that you care," Kyouya stated simply. "I'm going to go and call for a guard to be here to watch over the two of you. It seems like someone's after one or both of you and I don't need either of you disappearing." He let a smile tug slightly at the corner of his lips. "No wonder you two are our little devils. You cause me too much trouble."

Hikaru couldn't help smirking at that comment. "It's what I love about us," was all he said.

Kyouya watched him for a moment before exiting the hospital room in order to do exactly what he said he would.

* * *

_Kyuubi-kun's Korner!_

This is not over. This is just part one of two. I've already written part two, but I'm deciding to be mean and split it up. Don't worry, the second part should be released within the next few days. Maybe after I'm done my final on Friday. Who knows?

I guess that depends on the reviews. No matter what, it will be released before this week is out, but if I get more reviews, I may release it sooner than Friday or Saturday.

Well, I hope you enjoyed the first installment.

Please stay tuned for the rest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title**: His Smile  
**Author**: Kyuubi-kun  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Genre**: Angst, Romance, AU  
**Pairing(s)**: Kaoru/Hikaru.  
**Warning(s)**: This does contain implied heterosexual activities. Bear with it.  
**Summary**: The carriage is broken, leaving a rotting pumpkin. He doesn't smile anymore.  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own _Ouran_. I just own what I write. Y'know, my original ideas and all that fun stuff.  
**Author's Note**: Forgot to say this at the beginning of the last chapter. I have never read the manga of Ouran, but I have seen the entire anime, so this is based off the anime-characterizations rather than the manga ones. Sorry for the confusion. ((sheepish grin))

* * *

Hikaru stared down at his brother for a few moments, not quite knowing what to say. Kyouya had made him face his own negligence with his brother, and he wasn't entirely sure how he should feel about that. Of course, there was anger. Why should he have to take care of Kaoru for their entire lives? There was the hurt. How could Kaoru not tell him directly? Why did he go to Kyouya? But most of all, there was the burning need to just be by his brother's side. 

He would figure everything out later. For right now… for right now… this was enough. The older of the twins slowly sat down on the bed next to Kaoru and lay down. He curled up into his unconscious brother's side, hoping that all would be well if he could just be here. He hoped that everything would go back to normal – no matter what. He hoped that he could have his brother by his side again.

_Who do I like more?_ He asked himself as he threw an arm over Kaoru's stomach and laid his head on the boy's chest, snuggling closer to the redhead's side. _Kaoru or Haruhi? _

It didn't surprise him that he knew the answer already. It didn't surprise him – but he wished it could be different. That was his last thought before he fell into a sleep nearly as deep as Kaoru's.When Kaoru woke next, he felt warm. It was a strange feeling – something that he had only thought would happen when his brother was there. But that was impossible, of course. His brother couldn't be here. Yet there was a very familiar weight bearing down on his side, like it used to. Finally cracking open his eyes from the most restful sleep he had had in a while, Kaoru noticed that Hikaru was indeed snuggling up to his side.

Raising a hand, he let it slip through his older brother's red locks, trying to convince himself that it was just because his brother was by his side. He knew it was something different, something that he could not tell Hikaru. He knew that there was a need for his brother, one that transcended the act of brothers should. There was a want for his identical twin that was hard to ignore, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to.

_No, _he whispered in his mind, _I have to ignore it. Hikaru's happy with Haruhi. There isn't any reason for me to screw it up. He… deserves to be happy._ _I have to… I have to leave…_

Just as he was coming to his decision, Hikaru stirred in his sleep. Kaoru's hand stopped in its gentle caress as his brother's eyes opened.

"H-Hello," Kaoru said with a small smile.

Hikaru looked up at the younger of the twins and slowly sat up. "Kaoru…" he began, but stopped, a puzzled look coming onto his face.

Kaoru sat up as well, a sad look in his eyes. "It's okay, Hikaru," he whispered. "I already know."

Hikaru's confusion grew worse. "Know? Know what?"

Slowly, Kaoru peeled the blankets out from around him. "I already know what I have to do," he whispered, trying hard to avoid his twin's penetrating gaze.

"Oh? And what's that?"

Kaoru allowed a tiny smile to flit across his face. "What I must," he said, slipping his feet out from under the sheets and onto the floor. "I'm leaving."

A sudden pain struck the elder. It was as though his heart was being ripped apart and he couldn't understand why. "What? Leaving?"

Kaoru nodded. "Yeah, I…," his voice trailed off, allowing Hikaru the brief second in time to grab his brother's shoulders.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me," he whispered.

Kaoru shook his head, trying to find his voice.

"Do you have any idea what I've gone through in the past twenty-four hours?" Hikaru continued, angrily.

Kaoru's face hardened. "Oh, boo-hoo," he snarled, ripping himself away from his brother's grasp. "Twenty-four hours of hell for poor Hikaru." With each word, Kaoru could feel his heart tighten, but he forced himself to go on. "_Do you have any idea what I've been going through for the past three months?"_

Hikaru was taken aback.

"What?"

"Three months, Hikaru. Do you have any idea what I've been going through? Could you understand? Do you know how much I… I _hate_ to see you with Haruhi?" he murmured, not trusting his voice above the gentle hum of a whisper.

"What? Why?"

Kaoru just shook his head. "I have no sympathy for you," he told the boy. Standing up, he grabbed onto the bedrail for support as he got his bearings back. When he finally trusted himself to stand on his own, he shakily made his way to the door.

He wasn't all that surprised to see an Ootori guard standing there. He turned to the man. "Contact Kyouya," he growled out, harsher than he intended but he couldn't get rid of the splitting headache that was threatening to tear him apart. Or maybe it was the pain that he felt in his chest that was trying to destroy him. He didn't want to pause to think about which of the two it could be.

"Yes, sir," the guard responded, contacting the youngest son of the Ootori family. "What do you want me to say?"

"Tell him Kaoru wants a ride somewhere."

The guard nodded and relayed the message before turning back to the redhead. "He will be here in ten minutes with a car."

Kaoru nodded. "Take me to the front door," he whispered.

The guard looked unsure, turning to look back at the shell-shocked teen that was still sitting on the hospital bed. "I will call for backup," he finally decided and did so. It took less than two minutes for another guard to appear.

"This man will lead you to the front door," the first guard said. "I will stay with your brother."

Kaoru nodded and started to walk away, the guard not very far behind him.

By the time the two had reached the front entrance of the school, Kyouya was there with a car. The guard opened the door and allowed Kaoru to step inside.

Kaoru did so, not once looking back at the school where he had just left his brother stranded.

"Where do you need to go, Kaoru?" Kyouya asked with a grim look on his face.

Kaoru thought about this for a second. "Away," he finally whispered.

"Do you have any idea where?"

"Somewhere where he can't follow me."

Kyouya didn't have to ask about who "he" was.

* * *

Back in the nurse's office, Hikaru was just sitting on the bed, his mind running through all of what had just occurred. Kaoru was leaving. He was leaving his twin brother, and perhaps everything that he had known and for what? That was the part that Hikaru still could not grasp. What could be so important that Kaoru had to leave? 

What had he meant, anyway?

What had he meant when he said that he hated seeing Hikaru with Haruhi? Kaoru had been the one to set them up, after all.

Sometimes, his twin could just be too confusing for Hikaru to ponder.

Three months? That was… as long as Hikaru had been going out with Haruhi. He couldn't be jealous, could he? Kaoru had never shown any interest in Haruhi, after all. So what could it be?

Why was he thinking about this anyway? Thinking was Kaoru's strong suit. Hikaru just loved to act on impulses, and yet here he was, in the place where he and his brother had slept, if only for a short time, trying to think and figure out the hints that his own brother had left him.

_Dammit, Kaoru…_ the elder twin thought with disdain. He needed to find his brother. He needed to find the answers to all of these questions revolving around his head. He needed to figure out how to get strength back in his legs so that he could follow his brother.

Why had Kaoru left him?

That was the thing that bothered him the most. Kaoru had made it seem so easy, leaving him, but the pained look in his brother's eyes showed him that it was anything but.

Why couldn't Kaoru just be straightforward about things? What was with the riddles and the hints that Hikaru wasn't even sure were really hints?

Was his mind making too much of the situation at hand? Was that what was happening?

No. Kaoru had definitely left a clue of some sort.

If only Hikaru had the brains to figure out what that clue was.

Hikaru gave out a frustrated sigh. There was no way he was figuring this out on his own. There was only thing left that he could do. He had to contact Kaoru. Without moving from his place on the bed, he took out his cell phone, pressing the number two speed dial.

He waited patiently as it began to ring.

* * *

The ringing of a phone interrupted the silence that was in the car since the last that the two hosts had spoke. Kaoru nearly jumped when he recognized the ring tone that he had chosen for his brother. 

"Perhaps you should answer that," Kyouya said evenly.

Kaoru looked at him. "Why?" he asked darkly. "It's just Hikaru finally understanding something a bit too late. Why doesn't he call his darling Haruhi?"

Kyouya sighed, adjusting his glasses. "Still, better late than never, correct?"

Kaoru was silent for a moment. "No, not correct. It's not better late than never. It's just not better."

"Kaoru…" Kyouya said in a warning tone.

Kaoru stared down at his folded hands. When had he folded them? Maybe it was because they were shaking. "I… I just told him that I was leaving," he whispered.

Kyouya allowed another sigh to pass his lips. "Perhaps that was what it took to make him realize some things."

"Such as?"

"Such as the fact that he loves you."

Kaoru allowed a hollow bark of laughter to escape him. "Love? Have you gone mad? Love is nothing."

"Of course it is," Kyouya whispered.

"It doesn't matter," the twin muttered. "The pumpkin is smashed and the stained glass is broken. It doesn't matter. You can't fix everything. This is just one of those things."

"Well, of course you can't fix it, if one of those who are involved doesn't want it to be fixed."

"Are you implying something?"

"No. I'm stating it. You're afraid."

There was a moment of silence. "Yes. I am."

"Why?"

"He means everything to me. Everything. More than you'll ever know. More than he'll ever know. And as my everything, I cannot hold him back. He deserves to be with Haruhi. She makes him smile, and that's all that I need. He doesn't need a twin who's in love with him to hold him back."

"I thought you said that love was nothing."

"It is. That doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It just means that it's a hindrance more than anything else in this world. It holds people back and makes people hurt. It's nothing that I need."

Kyouya could feel his patience with the young twin growing thin. He could understand what the boy was going through, but at the same time, he didn't like it. If Kaoru would just open his eyes, then there was something there for him to see. Kyouya could see it, now was the task of trying to get Kaoru to see it as well.

"Open your eyes," the Shadow King told him bluntly, almost not believing that this was the way that he had to go about things for Kaoru to understand.

"And what will I see?"

Kyouya thought for a moment, trying to find the right words for what he was about to say. He knew that by saying what he had finally come up with, he would be completely destroying his reputation with the younger twin, but Kaoru needed it at the moment. So, dutifully, he smiled at the younger boy. "A brand new window, more beautiful than the one that has shattered."

Kaoru stared at the older boy in a mixture of horror and disbelief. Did Kyouya honestly say what he had just heard?

Not being able to contain it, he allowed laughter to bubble up, spilling over his lips like a waterfall. He clutched his stomach, not having laughed like this in three months. Kyouya just stared at the boy, mildly confused. He waited patiently, though, for the laughing fit to be over.

"Are you done?" he asked when the chuckles subsided.

Kaoru nodded. "Yeah."

"Mind telling me what was so amusing?"

"Well… it was just that… that line was so cheesy. And _you_ said it."

Kyouya could feel a bit of heat rising to his cheeks. "And if you tell anyone that I said that, you will die."

Kaoru nodded; a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "Sure."

His cell phone rang again.

Kyouya adjusted his glasses in a bored fashion. "Are you going to answer that?"

Kaoru smiled, one that lit up his eyes and made his cheeks hurt. He reached into his pocket and pulled the device out. "Yeah…" he said. "I think I am."

With only a second of hesitation, he flipped the phone open.

* * *

Hikaru looked down at his phone. The first time he tried calling his twin, the boy hadn't answered. He was trying again though, just one last time. The phone rang. 

Once…

Twice…

Three times…

Four…

He was about to give up and flip it shut when a very familiar voice answered, "Hello?"

"Kaoru!"

"Hey Hikaru, how are you?"

"HOW AM I?" Hikaru bit out, nearly tearing with relief at the thought of hearing his brother. "You idiot, how can you ask me that?"

"Eh, it's all about formalities, Hikaru."

There was an awkward pause where neither twin knew really what to say to each other. It was a strange experience for the both of them, considering it was the first one.

"Whatdidyoumeanwhenyousaidyouwereleaving?" Hikaru rushed out in one breath.

"What?" Kaoru's voice asked him.

The redhead in question took a deep breath. "What did you mean when you said you were leaving?" he repeated softly.

Kaoru paused and Hikaru could hear the soft intake of breath that his brother had done. "I…" the younger of the two. "We…"

Words seemed to be failing him, but Hikaru didn't say anything, much as his impatience wanted him to. Something was telling him that he needed to hear what his brother was trying to say.

"I… I love you, Hikaru," the boy whispered.

Hikaru was confused. "That's it? Silly, I love you too. You're my brother."

"No, Hikaru."

"Then what is it?"

"I _love _you. Like… like how Haruhi loves you and how you love her. That's why… that's why I need to leave. It's for you and your happiness."

Hikaru gasped at the confession. "You… you can't mean…"

"I do," came the firm reply.

Hikaru was astounded. This was the missing clue, the missing piece, the thing that he couldn't figure out. And _this_. This was the moment that could change everything.

This was the moment of his decision.

Haruhi – his sweet, loving girlfriend.

Or Kaoru – his twin brother who had always been there, inseparable since the day they were born.

"I… I don't want to make you choose, so I'm choosing. Do you understand me Hikaru?"

The younger redhead was met with complete silence.

All that was running through Hikaru's head was the simple and yet hardest choice he had ever made. Haruhi or Kaoru?

"Hikaru?"

There was still no answer.

Haruhi or Kaoru?

"I… understand."

Understand what?

Haruhi or Kaoru.

"I'll… I'll go now. Just know that I love you. Always will. I wish you happiness, too. Lots of it."

Haruhi or Kaoru.

The choice was made even before he could properly think it through. He didn't need to think it through.

"Kaoru!" he shouted.

The boy on the other end of the line was obviously confused. Without even seeing him, Hikaru knew that Kaoru probably had one eyebrow raised; his lip quirked up as he stared at the phone with slightly widened eyes.

"Yes?"

"Kaoru," the redhead's voice was much softer.

"I'm still here."

"Kaoru." He was savoring the name.

This was what had been missing the past three months.

"Kaoru. You."

"You've lost me, Hikaru."

"We need to meet up. Tell Kyouya to bring you back here."

"Why?" came the tiny voice.

"Are you going to deny me that little request?"

Silence. "No."

"Then I'll see you soon."

Hikaru closed his phone.

* * *

Kaoru looked down at the dead line in his hand. "He… wants me to go see him," he whispered to his companion. 

Kyouya couldn't hide the little smirk that had crossed his face. "Driver," he called to the front.

"Yes, sir?" the driver responded.

"Take us back to the school.

"Yes, sir."

With that, the car turned around and began its chase back to the school. Back to Hikaru.

* * *

Hikaru stood up, feeling a new strength fill him. He was going to see his brother again. Maybe he could make Kaoru understand. Maybe he could find what he was searching for, what was missing. Maybe Kaoru was all he really needed. He didn't cling to Kaoru because he was his brother, but because he was his other half. 

He stepped outside the door, triumphantly walking to the front entrance of the school. The guard that had been posted to watch over him followed along silently, but Hikaru paid him no mind. He had only one thing in his thoughts right now.

* * *

"What am I going to do?" Kaoru was panicking and Kyouya was at loss as to what to do with it. 

"Do what you must," the Shadow King advised softly.

Kaoru just looked at him.

* * *

Hikaru waited for the black car of the Ootori company to pull up. He wasn't able to stand still, his very skin itching at the prospect of what could happen within the next half an hour. 

It wasn't long before he caught sight of the familiar car. It seemed to take forever before it pulled to a stop in front of the boy.

* * *

"Oh god, oh god, I'm here," Kaoru muttered to himself, trying to figure out if there was a way to escape. His heart was thumping in his chest, too much for him to properly control. Kyouya just looked at him. 

"Get out of my car and listen to what he has to say," Kyouya growled, finally growing truly annoyed at how the young twin was acting.

Kaoru nodded timidly and opened the door, inching his way out. It wasn't long before he was standing in front of his brother, using the car door as support for his weakened knees.

* * *

The two brothers stood in silence for a moment that lasted for an eternity. Kaoru couldn't stop his knees from shaking and Hikaru couldn't stop staring at his brother. 

His brother.

His choice.

His own.

Finally, he stepped forward to his younger sibling, hefting the boy into a tight hug.

"You," he breathed into Kaoru's ear.

"Me?" the other asked confused, hanging onto Hikaru for support now that the car door had been taken away from him.

"Yes, you." There was a slight smile on Hikaru's face.

"What… what about me?"

Hikaru allowed the smile to grow bigger. "My choice. You. Kaoru. My brother. I choose you. I would choose you over Haruhi any day. You're mine, Kaoru. I'm not allowing you to leave."

Kaoru was stunned, and it showed in his face. "What?"

"I choose you."

"I don't… why?"

Hikaru just leaned in, placing his lips against Kaoru's forehead in a gentle kiss. "Because you complete me."

Kaoru could feel a blush rising in his cheeks and he found that he didn't care. For the first time in front of his brother in forever, he allowed a genuine smile to break across his face.

Hikaru could feel his breath catch as he saw the widening lips curving upwards on his brother. This was what he had been looking for, what he had been going out with Haruhi trying to find, only to see that it was with him the entire time.

This is what he had to lose in order to truly understand it's brilliance.

This phenomenon right in front of him.

The thing that Kaoru had kept hidden from him for three whole months.

The thing about Kaoru that made him feel elated, loved, and happy no matter what had happened whenever he had seen it.

His smile.

* * *

_Kyuubi-kun's Korner! _

Well, I hope you all enjoyed this story. It will remain as it is right now, cheesy ending and all. I don't know who the people who tried to kidnap Kaoru were. To me, they were just convenient plot devices that I used.

Its up to you who and what they were, but my job is complete here.

I was going to wait to post this until tomorrow, after my final, but… I got bored, and I wanted reviews to read and all, so I'm giving it to you now.

Please review if you wish, but hell, I'm just happy if you got to the point where you've read it. (stretches) Man, it's been a while since I've written fanfiction. I hope it didn't turn out to be complete crap. Especially since this part was written at two in the morning. (shrugs)

Thanks all.


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